The Runaway

Will gave me two heart attacks within minutes. We went to Whole Foods because, too much on my mind me, forgot hamburger buns at Fred Meyer. He begged to not ride in a cart and I obliged, thinking we were only going to be getting one thing. Wrong! I remembered I had to get a to go cup so we walked over to the espresso bar. I am holding the cart with Kiki in it and Will is next to me. I am looking at the mugs and then look down to Will. He is GONE. I call out his name. Nothing. I venture out from the bar looking for my boy. Nowhere. I call out his name louder while suffering my panic attack. I let go of the cart to go find him. I remember I can't do that. I can't leave one child to go find another. I am in full panic mode. My knees are shaking, I am about to scream his name, I can't see anything and then he totters up holding an apple. That boy is smart. Super smart. He knows when we are close to home. He can build a train out of his toys. He knows in Whole Foods where to score free fruit. The espresso bar is right by the fruit wagon and he walked over, by himself, to snag a piece. Idiot. I only say that in absolute anger. I want to teach him he can't leave my side. People will steal him. He needs to be wary of all men. He shouldn't talk to strangers. No matter what people say to him from inside their cars, do not go near them. He is still to young to get it. He is still living in blissful ness. He doesn't know bad exists in the world. If I told him it did, he still wouldn't get it.
So he is back, I can relax and continue on. I see a table in front of me with cider. I decide to get him some. I pump some out, nothing. I pump again, nothing. I turn back to Will. He is gone again. I panic all over again. I think someone saw this the first time and snatched him up. But no, he comes back again this time with a banana. I can't handle it anymore. I make him help me push the cart and tell him he can't let go no matter what.
We finally check out and even though I have only purchased three things the cashier asks me if I want help out. I laugh confused and say no. She says she only asked because she can tell I have my hands full. I must look so frazzled and disconnected when I am out with these two children.