Bonding Time

I will be honest. I tend to look at parents whose children are in casts as bad parents. I. Don't. Know. Why. I just feel like somehow they let their children down. I see these poor kids as having troubles as older people because they went and ruined their bones. My brother and I never had a broken bone our entire lives. We were pumped with a ton of milk and vitamins. My children don't drink milk and only when my son reminds me do they get their vitamins.

This weekend has been one of our worst weekends on record. I thought I had food poisoning. I had the typical signs of stomach cramps, vomiting and diarrhea. Only my son started puking and I thought, okay, we both got poisoned. Then my daughter fell off the couch while I was sick in the bathroom. She came to me quite upset but I thought she was just tired. We went down for a nap and she went down fast. She never moved in her sleep and I thought it was odd but again, I played it off. She was fussy when she woke up and she needed help getting up. I knew then that I may need to take her to the ER. We went to the couch and laid  there with my son. She kept crying. I gave everyone some Ibuprofen thinking it was the sickness. My husband mentioned going swimming and all attitudes changed. We went swimming and everyone was happy. We got pizza afterwards and all my daughter talked about on the way home was eating pizza. 

Once home though things started to shift. She ate her pizza but couldn't lift her drink to her mouth without crying. It was then I knew we needed to drive the 1/2 hour to the ER. My husband stayed behind to be with our son who wound up puking again. My daughter and I drove up and checked into the ER. 

We had a doctor try and pop her elbow. We waited. They gave her stickers she would only grab with her left hand. We waited more. They gave her a popsicle she would only grab with her left hand. We waited more. They gave her crayons and paper and she was very happy exploring the room and checking on other patients. We still waited. Finally the doctor came back and felt her collar bone. By this time it was nearly 9 at night. Long past bed time and when he touched her she became very upset. He guessed a broken collar bone and said someone would come to get us for X Rays. We waited and played on the hospital floor. Then that someone came and wheelchaired us to the X Ray machine. He took many X Rays and finally someone else came to help. It took the two of us to keep her from fidgeting. She did like the "skirt" she got to wear and refused to put her jammies back on. We were wheeled back to the ER where we played on the floor some more. Then the doctor came back with a photo copied piece of paper and told me it was for the scrapbook. She had broken her right collar bone. I sat on the floor of that ER and cried. Seeing that tiny body and that broken bone made me so sad. Thinking about how I wasn't there when she fell made me sad. Remembering how we went swimming and got pizza and all the while this little girl had a broken bone inside her made me just cry. The nurses put my nearly naked daughter in a sling and I just cried. They all told me it was fine. It would heal in a week. One nurse told me her friends son broke the same bone twice in the same week. I asked about long term effects and they assured me there was none. I was exhausted, sick and heartbroken. My daughter on the other hand was perfectly fine. She had had a blast at the hospital. They made sure I was okay and said we could go. I texted some relatives and broke the news. We got in the car oh so gently and drove home. She was out within minutes and I drove stoically home thinking about her sweet tiny broken body. 

Already today I can tell she is so much better. She was taking clothes on and off. She was playing with her brother. She is back to normal. Her brother knows she has a broken bone and although he probably doesn't quite get it he is doing a great job being gentle with her. I showed him the X Ray and we have it on our fridge. Her broken bone has been the big topic of the day. Our sweet husband spent the whole day in bed sick and we did the best we could in our current status. I am still exhausted and so thankful it wasn't an arm that broke. I have been a hawk with her and even at that she has fallen a few times over blankets and clothes on the floor. I watched her climb a ladder and change her clothes and I am just so glad it wasn't worse.

Biting

When I was a little girl I bit a boy on his arm. I got in a ton of trouble at school. I was sent to the principals office. My step dad was called to come pick me up. It wasn't pretty dealing with him. When my mom was finally able to interact with me she found me hysterically sobbing. She calmly asked me why I had bit him. She was the first one to ask me this question. I had bitten the boy because I couldn't get him to stop chasing and tormenting me. 

Fast forward 30 years and now I am the parent dealing with a child that bit a girl at school. When picking Will up today a teacher called me aside and told me he hit a girl and he bit her. This was shocking to me but not surprising. Will reacts to situations not in the best manner occasionally. She told me she had a nice talk with him, he was honest and sorry. She explained why it wasn't the right thing to do and why. I thanked her for doing this and letting me know. 

Now, I don't know if having my mom there triggered the memory or made me think twice but when I left the pick up area, I told her I would be right back. My mom is never with me when I pick him up. It was a fluke she was there. Leaving though I immediately went back to the situation of biting that boy. I have never forgotten that story/lesson. I went back to the teacher and I asked her what provoked the hitting and biting. He hit the girl (surprisingly his favorite girl friend) because he wanted her shovel. I have doubts on this one. He usually resorts to violence when things are taken from him, not when he wants them. The teacher did not know why Will bit her. She called over the teacher that reported it to her. She also didn't know. They told me he wouldn't say why. 

In the car I asked him why he bit the girl. He told me it was because of an argument. He wanted a girl to sit at their work table, the girl friend did not. She yelled at him and he bit her. Now of course this is not the right way to behave but at least it makes sense. The girl friend should have let the girl sit down, she should not have yelled at Will about it and Will should definately not have bitten her to stop her from yelling. Have I mentioned these kids are only 3? This sounds like adult jealousy. 

I felt vindicated. I told my mom that biting that boy 30 years ago finally paid off. Friday I will tell the teacher what happened. I did tell her that I was surprised Will would do that to the girl since I know he likes her a lot. She said she wasn't surprised he showed his affection like that. I told her it still wasn't right, girls shouldn't be brought up to like bad boys. I was trying to convey that too many times girls are told that boys who treat them unkindly really like them. It teaches girls to like boys who are rough to them. 

I suppose I still have some talking to do with Will. It was hard to talk to him in the car and I want to make sure he talks to his teacher before he resorts to violence. I know he has the idea I just want to sit with him calmly and go over it again. Also, teach him that you don't bite girls you really like. He needs to take care of and stand up for girls he really likes.