A Blessing?

Yesterday at Fred Meyer a woman saw me putting Kiki into the cart. She was walking with her daughter to their car. She says very loudly "oh look at her, she has one of those new baby things.". I was greatly confused. I looked at the carrier to see if I was missing something. Nope. Just an old ugly car seat. I look back at her for clarification. She then says "she must have got it on sale here. Such a blessing!".

Okay first off, you weirded me out and confused me. Secondly, a blessing? At that point in time I was not speaking to Will. He has been such a sick little monster and I was at my wits end. He had grabbed my chin as hard as he could and tried to shake my head. He wouldn't let me change his diaper. He wouldn't let me dress him. He wouldn't eat. I was going to Fred Meyer to get him milk and a fruit cup that I knew he would eat from. He has been driving me completely insane and I still have to take care of Kiki. I was fuming mad when this lady prances by talking about what a blessing.

Has she forgotten the incredible lack of sleep? The frustrating meal times they refuse to eat at? The thousands of nasty shits you clean up? The fights you endure just to get them to do anything? The nap times that go horribly wrong? The constant, incessant pleas to not hit/poke/ smack/poop on your sister talks? Did she completely forget the constant crying? The messes that don't go away? The incredible lack of space in your home due to a million toys? The constant need to be held? The fact that you can't go to the bathroom or shower in peace? The loads and loads of laundry you do? The millions of demands made on you every second of the day? Of course she forgot. You know why? Nature. That's right, nature. The same reason women have multiple children. Your body simply forgets all the vomit you threw up. It simplifies how much pain you were in during labor. It downgrades the trauma of birth. It makes you want to do it over again. Then, when your child laughs or smiles your heart just explodes with love that they could be the biggest asshole you ever met and you would literally call them a blessing. It's crazy but true.

Lucky for me my kids are not the biggest assholes I have ever met but they sure do test my sanity. They are blessings but they are also hellions. I will never be the woman talking to strangers in a parking lot about how lucky they are to have a baby. I will be the lady in the parking lot mumbling under my breath how fucking glad I am it's her and not me.