Pee is Somewhere

So a few days ago I walk into my bathroom and I smell the subtle smell of human pee. It isn't strong, but I knew, it was there. Not a big deal.

The next day, I walk into the bathroom and yep, its still there and it is stronger. Okay. Maybe it will get dealt with, its probably nothing big, I'll dive deeper if it gets worse.

The next day. Yes, I smell it. Its worse. Its awful. I can't find it. I see Kiki underwear and I smell them and they stink. I think okay, finally, we solved it and she has been spoken to. Good.

The next day. I come home, walk into my room and I am slapped across the face with the full foulness of urine. What. The. Fuck. I scrub the floor, I ask questions, no one knows. I put a bleach tablet into the toilet. I go to bed smelling it but convinced it will clear in the morning.

The next morning. No. It hasn't cleared. It fucking reeks in my room and it reeks in my bathroom. It doesn't seem to be bothering anyone. I am obsessed. I smell it everywhere. I clean my room hunting for some piss soaked towel or underwear or bathing suit or shorts, anything. There is nothing. My mother comes over and I tell her about this saga. She comes in for a sniff test and she smells it for sure. I break down, I tell her I don't know what else to do. She says we need to bleach the floor. She thinks someone peed on the floor and the stone tile has absorbed it. We bleach it. We bleach it so strongly our eyes hurt and we have to let it air an hour. We come back, and it still stinks. She's convinced a pipe has gone awry and the piss smell is located in the plumbing of my sink. I just can't comprehend how it can be so. Another hour goes by and I walk into my bathroom. I am physically ready to rip out the toilet it smells so god awful. For some reason the shower curtain is pulled back just a little and I see it. All these splotches of discolored liquid on the floor of the shower. I pull the curtain back all the way and I find it. I find the source of the urination. I call both kids in. Kiki says no. Will says yes. He claims there was no other place to pee. I call bullshit and make him smell it. He knows. We talk about choices, alternatives and previous life experiences. I then rinse it out, spray it down with water and go on with the rest of my day. As I write this though, I smell it. Its disgusting urine undertone stench creeping around my room and my head.

A Lost Shovel

Last week we had our house re sided. One plus of that is we had a huge dumpster come to our lawn. I was able to throw all kinds of trash in it. I tossed broken toys, busted bikes, lots and lots of yard trash and anything really my little heart desired. I thought I had thrown everything I could possible throw away into that dumpster when I realized, no. I had forgotten about the heaps of trash and broken toys located in the playhouse. Damn. I tried to open the lid but I just couldn't. So, I was left with a shovel.
I found this shovel in my entryway. I believe it was my mothers and the tip was broken off so it was trash. I decided this was the impetus I needed to get the playhouse cleaned out before the dumpster was removed. Since I couldn't lift the lid, I couldn't complete my potential job. I instead shoved that shovel as far into the dumpster and it lid as I could possibly cram it. I thought it was pretty secure.
Later that day I left to pick up the kids from school. On our way home, a hundred or so feet from the neighborhood entrance I saw what I thought was a shovel, the shovel, in the road. I thought it couldn't be. I had shoved that thing in as far and hard as I could. I was telling the kids about it. They started to ask a barage of questions about it. Will asked me how sure was I it was the shovel. I told him 90% sure. Then I hear Keely tell me "Mom, you ought to be ashamed of yourself." That did it. I told her she was right. I turned the car around, drove back to the shovel, waited until it was safe and retrieved that damn shovel. Now I still have it somewhere in my car and I live with the haunting memory of her telling me I ought to be ashamed of myself.

Guns Are Dead To Me

Today we had an unfortunate ordeal over guns, again. Personally, I am not a fan of having guns of any sort in my dairy. My son though, loves them and so does every single neighbor boy in our hood. They walk around like a gang, toting some gun they like and making up situations where the guns are necessary.
About a week ago my son shot his sister in the eye with a confetti blaster. She screamed and wailed and while I consoled her I screamed at him for doing such an idiotic thing, having no compassion for his actions and instructed him to throw it away. Only then did he feel remorse. Remorse for losing his gun, nothing for his wounded sister.
The very next day he was playing with a neighbor boy and this boy shot my son in the face. My son literally lost his shit in this kid. He started screaming to the kid to get off his property, to leave his yard immediately. When I finally got to them my son had his gun to this kids face while he intimidated him off our lawn.
Today my son shot another neighbor boy and made this poor boy scream in pain. He tried to get away with it by trying rot make the kid laugh but the damage had been done. I pulled him in and sent him to his room to clean it while I tried to organize my thoughts. During the ordeal I asked him why he did it, He said he didn't know why. I then told him no more guns for the day but realized this was the 3rd time this week I had told him this. I then told him I was throwing away all his guns. That made him cry. He told me I was unfair. Now my blood was boiling inside and I told him what wasn't fair was that I had to protect children from him shooting and hurting them, I left him and returned to my dairy cleaning. Moments later he told me I was selfish. Selfish??!! I asked him why. He told me I was selfish for taking his fun away. I went full psycho. I screamed and as I spoke I noticed the pitch in my voice rising. I told him so sternly that shooting people and hurting them should never be fun. That ended it right there. He cleaned his room perfectly and obeyed the further chore requests I gave him.
I've been mulling it over all afternoon. Going that full tilt crazy takes me a very long time to come down from. I'm seriously not sure where to go from here. I have decided to look into gun  classes and gun training for him. These toys have become excuses to act like assholes. Even this evening I had to tell another neighbor boy to put down a gun. His gun was pointed to his sisters head while he held onto both of them like they were his prisoners. I can't justify tossing out all the guns. This leaves my son singled out. I have options, I just need to decide on the most effective choice. Till then, the dairy is in turmoil.

Hello. It’s me. The long lost dairy operator. Running this dairy has been truly crazy, hectic, mind boggling and exhausting. We have brought a dog to the dairy. He amuses us but has only increased our work load. Today I hauled the kids and dog in raging heat to my mother in laws, school, grocery store, car wash, habitat for humanity, a fruit stand, a thrift store, the beach, the docs and finally home. In that day, my daughter fell flat on her face while carrying a chair and scraped her elbow and hip. My son dropped a large glass bottle all over the asphalt of the car wash where there was no trash can in sight. The dog got terrified of the vacuum at said car wash and kept disappearing. I spent $10, $5 of which was unnecessary but refreshing on trying to vacuum the disgusting cesspool I call a car. We did win at the thrift store when we scored 4 pair of shorts for the boy so he will hopefully quit wearing his thermal layered jeans in SUMMER. The beach was fine as the dog was finally allowed out of the clean but hot, hot, hot car for a few tender moments. At the doctor we learned the boy has bronchitis. What joy. Not sure how he got it but one leading cause is dirty places. That sums up our entire life. So even though it could a multitude of factors I blame myself for being an unkempt farmer. Once home the garden finally got watered after 2 days of suffocating. My boxes I ordered to help organize us came in the mail. 4 of them were smaller than I expected, 3 were great and 3 came without the rope they were supposed to have. A trip to the craft store is needed, too bad. My husband helped hang the triple mirror I bought for $25 today so now we don’t have to have everyone’s toiletries all over our tiny sink. He trusted me to screw in a screw and it went right through the wall. I was fired immediately. Our tiny girl who fell so hard had a huge meltdown and cried and screamed that her elbow hurt so bad she could never take a bath ever again. She was in there to wash her body and her privates of the impurities of sand from the wonderful beach trip. After a few books cuddled with me on a tiny chair it became evident that she may have done more to her elbow than scraped it. Worried an ER trip was upon me, my husband and I coaxed her, albeit gruffly, to prove to us she didn’t need the 40 minute trip at 8pm. Instead I whisked her to the store for some kid chewable bear. My day is done. My mind feels like I ran it through a blender.