Biting

When I was a little girl I bit a boy on his arm. I got in a ton of trouble at school. I was sent to the principals office. My step dad was called to come pick me up. It wasn't pretty dealing with him. When my mom was finally able to interact with me she found me hysterically sobbing. She calmly asked me why I had bit him. She was the first one to ask me this question. I had bitten the boy because I couldn't get him to stop chasing and tormenting me. 

Fast forward 30 years and now I am the parent dealing with a child that bit a girl at school. When picking Will up today a teacher called me aside and told me he hit a girl and he bit her. This was shocking to me but not surprising. Will reacts to situations not in the best manner occasionally. She told me she had a nice talk with him, he was honest and sorry. She explained why it wasn't the right thing to do and why. I thanked her for doing this and letting me know. 

Now, I don't know if having my mom there triggered the memory or made me think twice but when I left the pick up area, I told her I would be right back. My mom is never with me when I pick him up. It was a fluke she was there. Leaving though I immediately went back to the situation of biting that boy. I have never forgotten that story/lesson. I went back to the teacher and I asked her what provoked the hitting and biting. He hit the girl (surprisingly his favorite girl friend) because he wanted her shovel. I have doubts on this one. He usually resorts to violence when things are taken from him, not when he wants them. The teacher did not know why Will bit her. She called over the teacher that reported it to her. She also didn't know. They told me he wouldn't say why. 

In the car I asked him why he bit the girl. He told me it was because of an argument. He wanted a girl to sit at their work table, the girl friend did not. She yelled at him and he bit her. Now of course this is not the right way to behave but at least it makes sense. The girl friend should have let the girl sit down, she should not have yelled at Will about it and Will should definately not have bitten her to stop her from yelling. Have I mentioned these kids are only 3? This sounds like adult jealousy. 

I felt vindicated. I told my mom that biting that boy 30 years ago finally paid off. Friday I will tell the teacher what happened. I did tell her that I was surprised Will would do that to the girl since I know he likes her a lot. She said she wasn't surprised he showed his affection like that. I told her it still wasn't right, girls shouldn't be brought up to like bad boys. I was trying to convey that too many times girls are told that boys who treat them unkindly really like them. It teaches girls to like boys who are rough to them. 

I suppose I still have some talking to do with Will. It was hard to talk to him in the car and I want to make sure he talks to his teacher before he resorts to violence. I know he has the idea I just want to sit with him calmly and go over it again. Also, teach him that you don't bite girls you really like. He needs to take care of and stand up for girls he really likes.